the one where clint kills a rattlesnake.

You: NO. WAY.
Me: WAY.

Well, technically he and his dad killed it together. At the country club golf course. Ah, country living.

If you hadn't guessed, we're out visiting Clint's parents in the country this weekend. The weather's nice (if windy), and it's very relaxing. Makes for a nice getaway from all the rush and commitments of home.

AND his mom is the best cook ever! For lunch, we're about to have chicken fried steak, green beans (grown from their garden), potatoes, homemade rolls, and peach cobbler. I mean seriously. Poor Clint. As in, too bad I can't ever cook like this for him! =)

Off to a yummy lunch!

the one where my diamond earring falls in the toilet.

You: NO. WAY.

and i had to fish it out POST-urination!

You: Oh no you DIDN'T!
Me: Oh YES, i did!!!

with rubber gloves, of course, but STILL! gross!!

and MORE importantly, how the HECK did my diamond earring fall in the toilet while i was peeing?!!

You: Well, thank God it was number 1.
Me: No shit!!!

LOL. Man, i crack myself up sometimes. but seriously: only me, only me.

the one where the weekend is too short.

i have had a VERY busy weekend celebrating with heather and james, and i've not had a chance to post photos yet. i will try to get that done soon. the wedding went off without a hitch, though, and everything (first & foremost, the bride) was beautiful!

currently, i'm up at school trying to plan for my Smartboard presentation tomorrow night, so i should probably get back to work!

now i've started a class blog, which is mostly informational & not so much fun & witty, but you are welcome to check it out if you like:

also, if you are an aficianado of the blogs, such as myself, i encourage you to start an account over at Bloglines, where you can keep track of the blogs you follow all in one place instead of having 45 favorites stored in a blogs folder, like me.

you should also check out my school website, because i have begun posting fun Smartboard stuff that we do in class!

good times, good times.

days of school left till summer: 32 & 1/2

the one where i complain about my job.

mainly i'm just a little sad today. sad that while there are many moments of joy in my profession--moments in which i feel that all the time and effort and love i put into my job each day has paid off and made even a tiny difference to a child. these are the times where all the frustration, exhaustion, and ridiculous amount of work seem to be worth it. then there are days where i feel like i try and try and try to reach out to a child, to make that child see that i care about them, regardless of their behavior and poor choices that frustrate me--and i keep trying and trying and trying...and yet nothing seems to work. the child continues down the same path, regardless of positive or negative reinforcement, regardless of special incentives and rewards, regardless of ANYTHING. this is one of those days. And i hate to be that teacher that gives up on a student, that finally says, ok, i've tried, and i'm tired of nothing i do getting through to this child, so i'm done trying. She'll be someone else's problem in a couple of months. but after today, i am seriously close to resigning myself to that attitude, and i hate that.

it's definitely frustrating when you keep trying to see the good in someone, trying to give someone the benefit of the doubt, and not ever seeing the confirmation that you did right. i don't know; there really is "only so much one person can do," and that's what i tell myself all the time when it comes to students who come to me struggling severely. but even with THOSE children this year i have seen significant improvement. i guess at least i have that; i can feel good about the part i have played in this year of those students' lives, at least. yeah, that's what i'm going with. =)

see, i can't decide today if i'm a pessimist or an optimist? my glass is just half something. oh well. tomorrow is another day! sigh. seriously, though: how many days till summer?

the one where i get all philosophical.

do you ever just stop and think about life? life in general? it's weird to me sometimes how we're all always trying to figure out what it is that will make us happier, make us more satisfied, make our lives more worthwhile.

i took this Feminism course back at Hunter that was really amazing. (My college in NYC had so many interesting cultural and diverse courses that Baylor could never even DREAM of offering.) thinking back to the times when women didn't even have the opportunity to be educated outside of their home, things these days for women are going pretty swimmingly. it's really amazing how far we've come from not having ANY choices in life to being overrun with choices. women today have the choice: do i want to be a stay-at-home mom? do i want to focus on my career? do i even WANT kids? it's pretty amazing to think about the fact that each of us has so much control over our lives. unfortunately, when it comes to money, sometimes our choices are limited.

i really enjoy my job a lot of the time. i love getting to know the many personalities of my students. i love seeing the innocence and the wonder and the desire to take it all in. i love being able to teach them not only academic things, but life lessons as well. they may not take in all i say right now, but i feel that one day they'll remember that Mrs. Cockrell told them that, and that she was right!

on the other side, though, teaching is so ridiculously exhausting; i could never have imagined how much work and dedication it would take to truly do a good job in my classroom. when i think about having a baby in a couple of years and trying to continue teaching, it makes me feel very overwhelmed and scared. i don't know how i'd feel about being a stay-at-home mom. part of me feels that i might get bored, miss the company of my fellow teachers, and miss having a job where i was needed and important (at least to the kiddos). but a lot of me thinks i simply don't have the type of personality and organization to balance being a teacher and being a mom.

my sister has 4 kids, 2 sets of twins, aged 7 and 11, and she teaches 2nd grade. i honestly do not know how she does it. but a lot of the time i can see how it wears on her. she's exhausted, and she's told me that her own children get the short end of the stick many times because by the end of the school day, her patience is GONE. i definitely want to be able to give my children the best possible home life i can, and i honestly don't know that i'll be able to do that while i'm teaching full-time. the trick is, there may not be a choice! losing an entire income would obviously hit us pretty hard. right now we've got 2 incomes and no car payments or children. it's scary thinking about losing 1 income and adding in 2 car payments and a baby. it's funny how worried about all of this i am right now since this is all 2 years down the road, but it's something that has been brought to the front of my mind because i have so many friends who are expecting. i guess it just starts making you think about your own future and family-planning. only time will tell, and i'm sure everything will work out one way or another.

in the meantime, i need to get re-focused on my life as it stands right now instead of worrying so much about the future! live for today and plan for tomorrow the best you can. and be thankful that we have options today as women.

that'll do it for now, i think. =)

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